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Veronica

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[25 Sep 2004|10:59pm]
i'm sick of these people viewing my journal that shouldn't be. i'm making a new one, and fuck yeah, it's friends only baby.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/prettyin___punk
i promise this is the last one kiddies.
Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

[22 Sep 2004|04:52pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

i'm going on a diet because i need to lose a few pounds. i feel like such an utterly huge blob of fat, but i'm rather skinny to be quite frank. i just want to tone up and thin out a few "areas" that bug me. i had a seven hundred calorie lunch today, i almost like died because the number was so high. yeah, so i'm going on a diet, like a really drastic one. give me two weeks, let me lose ten pounds and fit back into a size three and then talk to me about my "weight issue". maybe i'm just overreacting but maybe not.

and yeah, i have no privacy anymore, it's driving me crazy. i think i'm going to get my own computer or just kill the sibling that watches over my shoulder at like all hours of the day. it makes me want to cry, every word i type he reads, it's worse than having my mother over my shoulder. why can't he ever just go away?! grr, life gets me so mad sometimes.

i have a shitload of homework tonight, and i haven't said that since i worked with artie. but i'm in a profanic (is that a word?) mood today, so yeah, let me be. my mom's going to talk to my principal because i'm being stalked by a pervert. that's just grand now isn't it?!

lesson in life, don't tell mothers much.

I Shoot, You Run

[21 Sep 2004|04:29pm]
[ mood | confused ]

i'm sorry that i hurt you, and actually thought of the scenario of you severely hurting me. i never meant to get you upset and make you think less of myself or yourself. if i made you cry, i apologize. and if i made you hurt yourself, or if i broke your heart, i'm sorry, and i'm hear to mend your wounds. i didn't mean the things that i said, or the things that i thought about you, and i want you to know that i love you with all of my heart. i've thought things over and honestly, out of everything we've been through, this is killing me the most. i know it's not that big of an ordeal, and we got over it with a few kisses and words of love and care, but i really want you to know, how much trust i put in you and that i believed every comforting word you said today. i'm no longer upset with you, and i just want you to know that i am truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart. i will always love you, and that's a promise i'll never break.

love always,
veronica <3

Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

[20 Sep 2004|04:36pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

today actually wasn't as bad as i would like to say it was. bryan said that i was in "rare form" this morning, whatever that means, but he said it was a good thing so yeah, i was in a rather good mood this morning. i almost fell asleep in biology this morning. two periods of that subject can make anyone a little lacking of the sleep factor. math wasn't bad, i actually got some of the questions right, emphasis on some. i had a band lesson fourth period, which therefore means i missed english, the one class i enjoy. and by the way, band sucks. yeah, i'm not getting in depth about my day. that's it, i'm going to work soon, 6:00 to closing...major drag. good bye loves.

I Shoot, You Run

[19 Sep 2004|07:45pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

i went to work today, for the longest three hours of my life. i feel like physical shit, but i guess that's okay every now and then. i still have to do my ap homework and yeah i really don't feel like doing it, but sometimes there's just no way to get around these things right? god, work was such a bitch today. at least i got to work with artie, so it wasn't all bad. he has an eyebrow ring, because he's a lucky young gentleman. tomorrow's school. that's a major downer on my week. i got a lecture from my mom today, she thinks i'm seeing bryan too much. yet, she only brings that up now. whatever.

I Shoot, You Run

[16 Sep 2004|10:42am]
[ mood | erf ]

my brother is driving me crazy. and my aunt won't be here to save me until 12:00 - 12:30. someone help me, because i think that i'm going to die.

b-dawg<3<3

Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

[14 Sep 2004|06:55pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread.

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it.
And all of our memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it.
And all of our memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it.
And all of our memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it.
And all of our memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

[13 Sep 2004|06:59pm]
[ mood | blank ]

i'm just, yeah.  i'm like so i don't know that it's scary.  i just want to be with bryan and nobody else.  god, i miss him.

because i'm getting away with murderCollapse )

Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

[12 Sep 2004|05:26pm]
[ mood | i have a cold ]

yeah, i have a lot of homework that i should be doing, but i'm lazy and quite a procrastinator so i'm not.  i decided to update instead.  i just got back from my aunt's house.  my mom's out getting me taco bell and i'm leaving for basketball practice in an hour.  god how i love fall sports (ha.) 

because i love you's not enough, i'm lost for words...Collapse )

Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

[12 Sep 2004|01:11pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

i woke up early this morning. nothing much happened. i made a blurty jurnal. http://www.blurty.com/users/immortal_lust. view it bitches.

ilovebryan<3aaf

Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

Look for the girl with the broken smile. [09 Sep 2004|05:43pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]

this is one of the moments in my life that i would like to erase from any recollection. there has been something wrong with me for the past week or so and the only reason it's not getting better is because i'm not doing anything about it. i mean, i wonder why i am the way i am and i'm always telling myself that it's just a fluke and it's so unlogical and whatnot, but it's completely justifiable and logical in every way possible. it's because i'm keeping all my emotions in a stainless steel box inside of me, and i've lived my whole life with that one motto in mind; don't trust anyone, tell the world nothing. well, it's doing nothing for me right about now. do you want to know what's wrong?! i'm in tears right now, listening to probably the worst song for my state of emotions and talking to the person that would probably make all of this even harder for me. nobody cares about me because i don't have a best friend. i haven't gotten a phone call in like a month. i'm always calling people and no one is ever calling me. i'm always inviting people over and i'm never getting invited over there. and i'm well aware that i may be taking this overboard because i'm furious right now, but i don't care because after the hell i've gone through this year i deserve a drama queen moment once and a while. i do act for like a living. i miss my best friend more than anything. we got in a majorly uber disagreement and now i don't know if we'll ever get back to what we did. my mind says ditch her and make new friends (and that's not an easy taks for me) and my heart says you need her and you need a best friend and you're miserable without her (which is totally true) but i don't know which to listen to. i'm always thinking with my mind and never with my heart and i just can't seem to get anything right, ever! i don't know what's going on with me right now. my boyfriend and i don't seem that lovely anymore and things have just been feeling weird between us. if anything made us separate i think i'd just die. he's the only thing i've got, and i literally mean that. he's the only person who IM's me first, and sends me e-mails and writes me notes during school and calls me and always knows when something's wrong and knows if i want to talk or not. oh my god, have you ever had the idea of that dream best friend?! the one that you can share clothes with and go shopping with and you can model with each other and go through a half gallon of ice cream in like twenty minutes and you can watch those dorky movies that you'd never admit you watch and share secrets all night and that you call every night no matter what happens and that you give presents to just because you love them? and you hang out every weekend, and never seem to run out of things to say to each other and you pass notes in school and could care less if you got caught and when you're sad or hurt they're the first person there for you? yeah, i've always dreamed of that perfect best friend but it feels like i don't even have one friend. and asking for the perfect best friend is really shallow of me, but i'm in a bad mood so bear with me. i'm sick of IMing everyone first and asking everyone to hang out, and spending so many damn hours by myself!! why do i even bother typing in here because no one ever reads it! and no one ever talks to me online so why do i even bother going on the computer!! i just want to curl up and die, it's not like the world would be missing anything.

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay a while
She will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

yeah, that's bullshit.

Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

[08 Sep 2004|05:36pm]
[ mood | PMSing ]

today was school. so here's the schedule bitches.

1st period - biology/ms. nevala
2nd period - biology lab/ms. nevala - gym/mr. greenblatt
3rd period - math/ms. takach
4th period - english/mrs. dimarco
5th period - lunch/mr. romano
6th period - band/mr. romano
7th period - french/mrs. fenley (ah, no more keegs!)
8th period - ap world history/mrs. katz

and i have romano for jazz band every wednesday as usual.
that's my educational life. everyone's nice except for takach. i hate her fucking guts. ah!

I Shoot, You Run

[07 Sep 2004|08:44pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

tomorrow i am being banished to hell, also known as macarthur high school. my darling mother and i just got back from office max picking up some school supplies just in case. even though the "lovely" levittown school district has told us all the supplies that we will ever need. the line literally took forty minutes and there was nothing left at all. all the supplies were trashed and ruined and gone. i don't want to go back tomorrow. i really, really don't. it's going to be horrible. yeah so i'm just going to go relax for my last few hours before the torture begins. good night all.

Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

[06 Sep 2004|12:27pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

have you ever had one of those days that you were really excited about and you just couldn't wait for it to come?! but then you get into a fight with someone, and your sibling starts annoying you, and everything seems to go wrong, and your parents are fighting again and it's making you cry, and you just feel so horrible and like everything's your fault and there's just that one single moment where you say i can't take this and you just want to drop dead right then and there?! yeah, that's what i feel like right now.

Please help me because I'm breaking down...

I Shoot, You Run

[05 Sep 2004|06:28pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

i'm in a really bad mood today. i had to wake up super early and go to church with my family. i could barely keep my eyes open and i felt bad but i just wasn't into it this week. and then i had to go to work from 2:00 - 6:00. i didn't really care for the two young souls that i worked with, so i didn't enjoy myself in that area. to top it all off, hershey's was dead today and i mean dead. i think a total of four people came in the whole four hours that i worked. i think i fell asleep in the back a few times, but it wouldn't have mattered because no one was coming in. my brother got my parents upset so they're not in a great mood and i never deal with that too well. i haven't talked to bryan all day, and yeah it's really bugging me because i need him right now. i haven't talked to tara lynn in a while and i really wish that i could. there's nothing on television, i've become so desperate that i'm watching a mary-kate and ashley movie. i have no life and nothing to do and well i'm just hideous today.

I Shoot, You Run

[04 Sep 2004|05:05pm]
[ mood | giggly ]

today is the date of my family barbeque.  i'm working tomorrow from 2:00 - 6:00 (finally, because i'm dying to get paid again.)  bryan's over along with the rest of my mom's side of the family.  it's kind of cool to reunite with everybody and all that before school starts up again.  i have two water balloons sitting next to me that are going to go in bryan's face before the end of tonight.  they look wrong, the end.Collapse )

I Shoot, You Run

[03 Sep 2004|01:29pm]
I Shoot, You Run

[03 Sep 2004|12:01pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

i'm bored as hell, and this is the result.  i hope you can handle the extremities.

only one day remains...Collapse )

Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

[03 Sep 2004|11:08am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

today is one of those days. i miss my boyfriend terribly. we haven't gone on a date in about two weeks and i can't stand not seeing him. my mother is being annoying and yelling at me to clean things and help around the house more. i don't do drugs, i don't smoke, i don't drink, i don't have sex with bryan, i get good grades, i don't sneak out, i'm always home by curfew, i mean, what more does she want from me? i'm confused about who my friends are and if they really love me for who i am or who i hang out with, or just because they think my boyfriend is hot, becasue i've gotten a lot of that lately. my dad's working on my bedroom, i'm grateful, but i miss my room. every day from like 10:00 to 8:00 i have to give up my room. i'm not feeling so great lately. i need a best friend, i miss my best friend. i'm lonely, that's the end of my story.

Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

[01 Sep 2004|11:30am]
[ mood | energetic ]

bryan gave me a ring yesterday and it's beautiful, just beautiful. i couldn't be happier. things couldn't be going more perfect and more fantastic as of now. school is starting a week from today which is the only bad thing about my life. but i mean, i can't complain. i'm hanging around in my pajamas watching regis and kelly and lifetime movies, i had cookies for breakfast, there's a gorgeous ring on my finger, i have the best boyfriend in the world, my friends are incredible, my dad's making my closet wonderful, i have an awesome new wardrobe. life is pretty fucking awesome.

Good Eye Sniper| I Shoot, You Run

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